The Homeopathic Proving

of Alabaster


The Proving

Introduction Mentals Dreams Generals Physicals

Mental Symptoms

 

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MIND

I had the urge to sit in the rocking chair and rock myself violently.
1A 01 19.00 NS

Spent the evening in the company of strangers at study group, felt very comfortable very sociable. Had been insular and unsociable since a close bereavement 18 months ago. Enjoyed the evening and stayed late with no feeling of being trapped or wanting to escape.
1A 01 21.00 US

Ate a plate of turkey sandwiches guilt free, I had been a vegetarian for 10 years.
1A 01 21.00 US

I've been dippy all day, I was definitely having a "blonde" day, I put things on top of the car. and drove around town with them still there.
1A 04

Feeling more feminine and girly.
1A 05 US

Still girly and dippy, people commenting that I’m not as efficient as usual, think I’m "away with the fairies".
1A 05

Went shopping and had unusual interest in buying clothes, make up, jewellery. Never usually interested in this sort of shopping. Bought 9 blouses, 2 dresses, 1 skirt, perfume and make up. Spent over £300 without a qualm, wanted to spoil myself and treat myself. Didn't feel guilty afterwards.
1A 08 US

Went to homeopathy college and people commented on the way I had dressed, clothes with matching accessories and makeup. Have decided to grow hair longer, more feminine. Someone said I looked very confident and was glowing and bright.
1A 09 NS

Sociable and confident, with slightly less energy. Still taking more care of my appearance, still "girly", wearing more makeup and skirts, dressing smarter.
1A 14 NS

Still fluffy and girly.
1A 15

Totally dippy driving my car today, couldn't find reverse, driving as if I was still in my old car sold 10 year ago (dreamt about it last night).
1A 17

Doing silly little things (due to PMT?) like putting inside the fridge things that should go in the cupboard.
2B 01 09.25

Again doing silly little things. Forgetful.
2B 01 09.40

Feeling very impatient and irritable.
2B 01 20.55

Didn’t sleep well but in the morning I wasn’t moody - I always am if I don’t sleep well.
2B 02 NS

I’m going to work and I’m still being forgetful. Before I closed the front door I had to go back inside three times.
2B 02 US

At work they said to me that the lights are on but nobody’s in. That is not me.
2B 02 NS (Gradual > from day 5)

Worse PMT I’ve had in a while. Very moody and impatient.
2B 21

Feel its beneficent, soft feel, like cotton wool.
3B 01 09.40

Feel peaceful, calm, relaxed.
3B 01 09.40

Feel aware of the flat plane of each layer of teeth.
3B 01 09.40

Feel like smiling.
3B 01 09.45

Feel a bit drunk, without the wooziness.
3B 01 09.45

I am in my head and arms and hands - the rest of me is disconnected, but also supporting me.
3B 01 10.00

So comfortable, don’t want to shift position of legs even a bit – arms and head move, rest of body feels its just there, not heavy, just quite still.
3B 01 10.00

Sensation as if smiling.
3B 01 10.15

Still smiling, even after an afternoon at clinic.
3B 01 16.45

Looked at my arms, and connected with how they have been during summers – my arms linked me with my past self, especially summers, holidays, back activities. Had brief flashbacks to various summer holidays – it seemed to link those times with the present.
3B 01 afternoon

Having a drink of water, suddenly saw arms as being strong, efficient, useful things and I liked having them there.
3B 01 afternoon

Anxious on waking (it was stormy). Anxious about global warming.
3B 04 03.55

Aware of the shape the teeth make in the jaw again. My awareness seems to be in the space between my teeth.
3B 04 04.00

Have to go to a seminar, would normally want to go, but feel very reluctant. Crave some peace and quiet.
3B 05

Woke feeling very low. Sensation as if, too much to do, feel sorry for myself, teary.
3B 06

Low confidence, feel inadequate (I’d never have come to those remedies).
3B 07

Better mood, able to be efficient.
3B 08

Forgetful, printing same things out twice.
3B 09

Mood is persistently quite low, feel I can’t quite get up the energy to enjoy anything.
3B days 07 – 14

Anxiety about getting breast cancer on frequent waking.
3B days 24 – 31 0S

Feel outward. Usually have a desire to close eyes when I take a remedy. I want the light on.
4C 01 12.35 US

Frivolous feelings!
4C 01 12.30 US

Restless, but mind doesn’t feel as though it wants to think about anything in particular. I don’t want to engage. (Though it’s) not in a muzzy way.
4C 01 12.35 RS

"Daughter said there’s not a word for ‘fool’ in Japanese", laughed. Feeling light-hearted.
4C 01 12.40 US

Feel light in body, not very grounded.
4C 01 12.40

Don’t feel inward as usual.
4C 01 12.40 and 03 US

The room is slightly empty, not quite rich enough. I’d be nice if there was a lit candle so I’d have something to look at. (Noticed a design on a cover for the first time despite it being there for several years). This room doesn’t have any blue in it. It needs more rich things. Seeing it in a different way.
4C 01 12.40-50 US

Complained of supervisors clothes being too casual, like he’d just come in off the beach and wasn’t being quite serious about the proving. Disliked pale colour of his trousers. Preferred richer colours like silky blue or orangy brown.
4C 01 12.50 NS

Tired physically, bright mentally. Open and communicative, in touch, relaxed, easy going. Work is not a chore.
4C 01 20.00 US

Feel in touch with my feelings and not self conscious or inhibited. Able to just be - not over expressive either. Easy going and relaxed rather than my usual intensity.
4C 02 US

Physical work is a chore, mental work not.
4C 02 US

Focused, less scatty. Work is easy including doing accounts and teaching a class. The teaching felt dynamic and easy even though it is physical.
4C 02 US

Confused over word order. Eg "Hold your hands with your feet"
4C 02 NS

Feel sluggish.
4C 02 RS

Happy in myself.
4C 04 RS

General desire to connect with people and things.
4C

Able to go to supermarket in the evening and be focused and buy a few things, without shutting down. Very unusual, especially for the first day of my period.
4C 03 US

Before I took the remedy, if I was in a shopping centre, I’d feel negative about not having enough money, things not working, and comparing self to others who "have". Would still feel it would be all right in the end.
Now, I feel more balanced in seeing things as they are. I can just be me in the midst of it all rather than reacting (ie "can’t have", "don’t want" - I’m above it all). I no longer feel caught in the spirals of extremes or reacting to things (as above). I’m now relating to things rather than pushing them away. I can hold my space in a busy environment, even if I’m tired, and so end up feeling less tired.
4C 30 AS

Can still get PMT but less intense or manic.
4C 1 year AS

Since last year been more open and positive.
4C 1 year AS

Not comparing myself as had in the past. (More confident?)
4C 1 year

On taking the remedy and waiting for an effect the first thing he said was "Dr. Jeckyll and Mr Hyde - hair sprouted from the palms of hands."
5C 01 11.30 NS

Able to be still. I feel "nothing" coming through.
5C 01 11.30 US

Some of my cuddly glow has gone.
5C 01 11.35 US

The quality of looking at the world is less rewarding.
5C 01 11.35 US

He seems drawn into himself (he agreed).
5C 01 11.35 US

Sadder, melancholic, blue.
5C 01 11.35 US

Reflecting.
5C 01 11.35 US

Flatter.
5C 01 11.35 US

Drawn to what is wrong eg had sprained ankle recently and now more aware of it.
5C 01 11.40 US

Already more buoyant. Effects of remedy either short lived or I’ve accommodated them quickly.
5C 01 12.15

Passive/reactive - stuff happens. Feel depleted and at the mercy of the world.
5C 01 US

It seems that the world has become a place of limited resources, so have to think careful what I put out, and less like a place of abundance where I can simply get on with it. Feel more like a miser than an abundant person (not materially).
5C 01 US

Felt defensive like it was a hostile universe, like being in the desert and you had to hoard water.
5C 01 US

Felt the same both indoors and outdoors.
5C 01

What would help? A sense of lightness and buoyancy.
5C 01

Feel discontented. The world seemed a less attractive place. It was flatter, colours ceased to be gorgeous.
5C 01 US

An overall perception of the world out there and me in my world - separate and closed. Not a massive deal but still there.
5C 01 US

Left the car unlocked in the city centre. Very untypical.
5C 01 US

Intolerant, irritable.
5C 01 US

Ennui.
5C 01 US

Not as focused. Less decisive.
5C 01 US

Dropping and spilling food. Spilt some over myself.
5C 01 US

Bumbling.
5C 01 US

Left the lights on in the car (the battery ran flat) and hadn’t got his AA card.
5C 01 US

Got a parking ticket.
5C 01 US

Anxious, fretful, worrying.
5C 01 US

Lacklustre - inwards.
5C 01 US

Communication difficult. Everything is hard.
5C 01 US

Muddled like an old man.
5C 01 US

Memory poor.
5C 01 US

Took much longer with clients, not on the ball.
5C 01 US

Everything seems a struggle.
5C 02 US

[Very determined that he will take a remedy to antidote the effect and did at the end of the second day, and felt better after a minute. Took Lac Humanum which was the remedy he’d most recently had before the proving.]
5C 02

Day less hectic than usual so feel at ease/relaxed.
6A 01

Took second dose after attending a meeting, felt alert and able to understand everything at the meeting. Did accounts until 23.30.
6A 01

Felt clear headed and at ease.
6A 02

I purposefully had a more physically active day as the previous days had been relatively uneventful compared with my normally very hectic but unstructured lifestyle. I would have normally felt quite tired after such a day but was still mentally alert and energetic, so did some paperwork and reading.
6A 03

Watched two TV programmes in the late afternoon (unusual). Felt well but lazy.
6A 05

Felt motivated but not pressured. Thinking clearly about my normal activities and planning.
6A 06

Annoyed at myself at getting my timetable wrong and ending up flustered.
6A 07

Afternoon/evening - clear thoughts. Feel I’m in control again.
6A 07

I am surprised I have written so much. I do not normally express my feelings/thoughts. No, I haven’t been drinking!
6A 08

Usually wash hair before breakfast (not every day), but today decided to go out shopping locally first.
6A 09

Still feeling well and alert.
6A 09

Being alert mentally is the only thing of note.
6A 13

Still alert.
6A 22

Notice I have not been in perpetual motion as is normal for me. Perhaps because I am mentally alert, I am thinking about what I am going to do instead of rushing headlong into the many things previously listed regardless of whether I really have time to do them. (overview)
6A 33

Very high spirits.
7B 02

Left with a slight anxious feeling after a dream.
7B 03 NS

A colleague has had a rough time. I would normally be very concerned and be thinking a lot about how I can help her, what can I do, believing I can help her, much of the night, but I feel distanced, though still concerned, only thinking of her once or twice. Maybe I am seeing things more clearly and less emotionally?
7B 09 NS

Felt a bit panicky and weepy but didn’t actually cry.
7B 17 12.30 US

Memory getting worse. Had been taking Ginkgo Biloba before the proving.
7B 19 RS?

Felt angry that my husband had woke me (even though I was happy he’d come to see how I was). And again angry when he woke me as he came to bed. (During headache).
7B 20 20.15

Felt slightly agitated during first hour (because hadn’t had breakfast. - Supervisor)
9A 01 08.00-09.00

Urge to rock back and forth - security feeling (had arms across chest, hugging self. - Supervisor)
9A 08.00-09.00 NS

Slept on settee for 45 minutes. Woke around 10 pm feeling very anxious for no particular reason. Felt something might happen to my family, husband and sons - car accident - very restless - similar symptoms before last time 8 months ago. Went to bed had argument with husband. Felt upset, depressed and hopeless (said ‘I feel so scared’ whilst trying to go to sleep. - Supervisor)
9A 01 22.00

Felt depressed, don’t want to get up or go to work.
9A 02

Mood improved during the day - felt better for sighing. much better by evening
9A 02

Rang sister in the evening - identical twin. I took the remedy at her home on Sunday - she had very similar symptoms to me but the onset was a few hours later. ie depression, fear, anxiety (close relatives having car accident), severe cramp and had an argument with her partner extremely similar content to my argument with my husband. We have experienced having similar symptoms in the past and often know if each other are unwell.
9A 01

Argument with husband 7 am did not dwell on it.
9A 03 07.00 US

Felt happy and light all day - felt I had more energy.
9A 03

Woke during the night feeling really depressed and hopeless. Had been dreaming, can’t remember, but feel it may have been connected with my mood.
9A 07 RS.

Similar mood on waking am.
9A 07 RS

Cheered up during the day but felt very irritable most of the day.
9A 07

Mood much better.
9A 08

Felt irritable in the morning, mood improved during day (during fever/sore throat)
9A 11

A thought occurred to me that I feel my symptoms are like a ‘holding in’, ‘not flowing properly’.
9A 12

Shouting at other drivers on way to work, quite angry mood > during day
9A 12 from - Supervisor

Had road rage again today ‘have to check myself to shut up’
9A 13 from - Supervisor

Felt I was not in control of my thoughts (delirious), temperature 100°
9A 14 am to pm

Have a slight aversion to my cat and really irritated by her.
9A 17 (2 weeks) US

Didn’t go to work (although feeling > ).
9A 17

Returned to work.
9A 19

Incident at work, made me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed, upset me. The way I am reacting to this event is out of all proportion to the actual event. Like it has ‘ pushed a few buttons’ in me and bringing up emotion and feelings that don’t belong to here and now.
9A 20

Feel my energy is being drained away from heart/ solar plexus ( "as if a hole in my solar plexus and my energy is draining away" ) area.
9A 20

Finding it impossible to relax, feel vulnerable, stupid (OS) and that I am ‘beating myself up’.
9A 20

Feeling the same plus feeling I need protection and security. Strong feeling of trying to hold something in emotionally (like a child that needs protecting, walking around with arms around self, hugging self, holding something in. Asking husband for hugs, not normally a touchy person. From - Supervisor).
9A 21

Still feeling drain from solar plexus area.
9A 21

Want to be held, feel vulnerable.
9A 21

Trying to rationalise situation all the time.
9A 21

Out with friends, felt >
9A 21 eve

Work incident still popping into my head in day, feeling very sensitive about it. Flashbacks to the event, feeling stupid and wishing it could be different.
9A 22

Again upset by work incident, angry with self for letting it bother me so much and allowing it to happen in the first place.
9A 23 eve

Irritable, ‘snapping’.
9A 23 eve

Woke about 2 am with the thought that everything I believed in was an illusion (US) Nothing really exists, when you die your dead etc. God didn’t exist Felt hopeless and a bit desperate with a fear of madness and being out of control
9A 24

Felt physically twice my size widthways but not front to back(US) which made me feel not in control of my physical being.
9A 24

Unable to settle and return to sleep so got up at 3 am.
9A 24 03.00

Day was >
9A 24

Slight panic attack, anxious and unable to breath, for 15 minutes
9A 24 20.00 (OS) many years ago

Slightly anxious when reminded of work incident* ( overheard conversation) dealt with it
felt > (it* feels like an intruder who will not let me have any peace. - Supervisor).
9A 25

Unable to go back to sleep, feeling anxious and a bit hopeless about myself. Felt whole world and the way we live is mad.
9A 33

Fear of death.
9A 33

Fear of life.
9A 33

Fear of the dark.
9A 33

Fear of madness.
9A 33

Slightly depressed > by midday.
9A 33 am

After a work dream Left with a feeling that I am too responsible and too much is expected of me.
9A 34

Poor nights sleep, woke 2 am feeling anxious, unable to go back to sleep, got up, dozed until morning.
9A 35 02.00

Slight panic attack before going to sleep, fearful not sure of what.
9A 35

Very tired all day, irritable and angry with people at work (after only 3 hours sleep previous night)
9A 38

[This fear is so big, like fear of fear itself, difficult to pin to one thing]
9A 38

Felt happier than for a couple of weeks. Someone said I ‘looked better’ (this is second day of her period).
9A 39

Good day.
9A 40

Very irritable in afternoon, > in evening after a long run.
9A 50

Woke 2.30 am feeling desperately unhappy (and want to talk to someone. - Supervisor) but don’t know why.
9A 51

Left frontal sinus blocked, > by crying.
9A 51

During the proving had an affinity to pink and orange colours. Usually wear black and blue. [reported on follow up after 17 months]

9A

Feeling relaxed, not thinking about anything in particular, no images come to mind when closing eyes. (To think of anything else takes a positive effort. Relaxed within these 4 walls, seems enough at present - from Supervisor who thought he was very relaxed after the remedy - prover thought it was normal for him)
10B 01 8.35

[Relaxed, opened up, became more talkative. Talking a lot about a past relationship.]
11C 01

Feel at ease and peaceful. Not so many thoughts whirring around in my head, my mind has slowed down; not under any pressure to resolve anything anymore. Feel quiet and still.
11C 01

[Stopped talking – enjoying the peace and stillness. Noticing the quiet in the flat. Noticing the surroundings in the flat and finding it very relaxing]
11C 01

Level of frustration felt on driving is lower than normal.
11C 01

Feelings of anger towards former work colleagues were not, for once, uppermost in my mind.
11C 01

I absorbed (heard) more than I normally would from what was on Radio 4.
11C 01

Wanting to bury the hatchet with former work colleagues; very angry about these people, but wanting to put the past behind me – life’s a bit short to carry it around with you.
11C 02

The calmness is still there, enabling me to get a better grip on situations; feeling more on top of things.
11C 04

Arranged to go out and meet a friend for a drink – that surprises me because normally I’m an unsociable git.
11C 04

Feel I have relaxed more than usual.
11C 06

Stayed calm under pressure, moreso than I would have expected given the difficulties.
11C 07

Thoughts are less intense, less of a presence in the mind, have become preoccupied with thinking about other things. Part of me feels more calm and peaceful, spreading over things, rather than focusing on one thing that I can’t resolve. Thinking more now about family, things read in the newspaper.
11C 07

[The main thread of the remedy has been a calmer feeling, mentally and emotionally. Less angry, irate, settled down; feelings of violence less consuming. Less feelings of anger in the upper chest.
11C 37

[Reflecting on relationships a lot; talking about all the people in the world who want to be with someone.]
12A 01

[Talking nicely, gently, sweetly, friendly.]
12A 01

I have a feeling in my body as if slightly drunk, a warmth through my body, relaxed. Senses as if dulled; hearing and vision dulled; feel the edge has been taken off things; feel as if high and removed from things. Is the remedy Prozac?
12A 01

Feeling of being calm, no blabber vision. Coming back to the here and now rather than worrying about things.
12A 01

Awareness of motivation to get things done.
12A 01 15.00

Slight agitation through morning.
12A 02

Feeling calm with a surge of motivation.
12A 01

[Wants to stay up and watch TV (which is unusual). Dilemma between talking to people and wanting to watch TV.]
12A 01 19.45 US

Feeling brilliant, comfortable with things: all the normal things: life, children, relationship – managing to float through it.
12A 14

More focused, a bit more energy.
13B 02

Images like hairy legs of a spider, head of a cockerel.
13B 02

Mood calm.
13B 03

Energy higher than usual. Calm, no excessiveness. Reasonably focused.
13B 05

Tired and restless – having to do lots of things.
13B 09

A thought – a tall ship – I’m not into tall ships, quite small, mast twice as high as length of boat, 2 sails but could be out at sea, not in a dock or port. It could be perilous but actually very safe. Cool breezy weather. 18th century tea clippers? You might think you wouldn’t want to cross the ocean in that but people did, lots.
Big wide open sea. Dark, overcast but doesn’t feel bad. Bleak, a bit wild.
A big bird like a parrot or macaw, bright colours – turquoise blue green. Big eyes. I’m on its left perched on the mast

Seeing an island. Tall trees like palms. Date trees – thick chunky bark. More tropical looking but not hot (maybe because my kitchen’s not hot?)

Rum. Isn’t the mind a wonderful place to go into – I love it
14C 01 21.00

Word arrows coming from behind . May be connected with adrenaline feeling.
Spears and shields and coloured people, dark people. Don’t feel a threat,
only awareness its in the background.
14C 01 21.00

Small howl – that was anxiety like apprehension – came up into my throat.
14C 01 21.00

Hostility there, the boat was unwelcome. I’m an observer, an etheric observer – I’m not quite there so I don’t feel the threat. I’m seeing from the point of view of intruder who came on ship.
14C 01 21.00

Something to do with colonies. Taking stuff that isn’t theirs. Partly why it’s not a huge threat, they’ve got the power. But you wouldn’t go off on your own.
14C 01 21.00


I’ve done a bit of channelling, a bit of medium stuff, its just say what’s in your head – you end up describing how their father died. I have learnt – just go with it sure.
14C 01 21.00

Feeling quite excited, a wave of it. Optimism – let’s get on with it, motivation. Quite a zip. (Usually tired, sleepy in evening).
14C 01 21.00

Big, round sun – what I like.
14C 01 21.00

Chocolate and cocoa beans - in my mind, not eating them, more like being in cocoa plantations - warmth and nurturing.
14C 01 21.00

Thinking of travelling boats aeroplanes trains, travel, superimposed over map of world – India. Big buildings like Taj Mahal. Ivory. Elephants. Bright colours, dressed up elephants. I’m having a great time here.
14C 01 21.00

Tree like skeleton tree but coniferous shimmery goldy-silver.
14C 01 21.00

Somewhere cold and dreary and dull. Very different – India feels totally gone. Closed in feeling like winter when you wrap your coat round you. Introvert. It’s raining outside but it’s like slushy snow – wouldn’t want to be out in it – I’d turn inward to a nice warm fire. Not that I’m cold.
14C 01 21.00

Angels, way above. Feeling crown chakra – connectedness with angels.
14C 01 21.00

Feeling tired – because I’ve travelled round the world – once.
14C 01 21.00

Quietly content feeling. Quite inward, not ‘let’s go do it’ like a few minutes ago.
14C 01 21.00

As if I left home and went in a circle and came back. It just happened.
Something separate. Feeling it all. Detached person, seeing these things.
Observing energy has been round the world. I’ve just come home. The
Island, boat etc. are still there but I’m not connected any more.
14C 01 21.00

Picture [image] of fossil – ammonite, lots of lines in a circle.
I feel like I’ve done it [the proving], obeyed the instructions – it took an hour.
14C 01 21.00

Felt alive and invigorated.
14C 02
RS, but more so

Connections and communications, chatty.
14C 02

Bumped into a vagrant chap with bad leg – asked him questions, gave him a remedy.
14C 02

Laid back, having a laugh, being true Gemini self.
14C 02

Woods so beautiful, looking at trees. I said they look like loads of people standing there with their roots going into the soil and their arms reaching towards the sky. Feeling in tune – trees – looking at branches – so beautiful.
14C 02

Slightly flirtatious feeling when chatting to people.
14C 02

Thought how nice it would be to have a partner (not what I want normally, haven’t got the space or time).
14C 02

17 year old son wants to be away for New Year – philosophical – it’s his life now – I’ve done my bit for saying yes or no.
14C 02

Grumpy this morning, fed up. Less tolerant, waking kids. Stressy type of morning.
14C 03

Whingey, better seeing patient. Muddle in my mind.
14C 03

Not sociable today.
14C 03

Tired, lacking energy (early in day), feels like 10.30. But part of me wants to get on.
14C 03

Lots of energy pulling out a fireplace, clearing up room, taking rubble up to dump. Lets go for it mood.
14C 04

Sorting and clearing stuff up.
14C 06

Feeling a bit low at time, better for getting going (occupation amel.)
14C 06

Put out by eldest son, always going out at the moment, feels like its breaking up our family. Feel a little bit bereft. He’s written a whole portfolio of lyrics he’s written for his band and I didn’t know. It’s natural and I know that – think it’s the source of the low feeling.
14C 06

Lots of energy, pulling out fireplaces, taking rubble to dump.
14C 06

Up and down: Up: thoroughly enjoyed new patient yesterday
Down: Struggling with eldest son. We used to do things together, now when we go to town he meets his friends and we get nothing of him.
Feel very flat with it, doing (decorating) Xmas tree trying to be enthusiastic.
Feeling like a punctured balloon, it’s over, it won’t be the same again. When he’s in, his girlfriend phones or his mates phone and we don’t see him. End of an era.
14C 06

Feeling grossly fat, disgustingly fat. My legs are like tree trunks but tree trunks are nice (so they’re not).
14C 06

Don’t like crowds, don’t like Xmas shopping, people in the way all the time. Have not felt depressed like this for ages, at least a year.
14C 06

Stuck in limbo in the middle, not much freedom in it. [Eldest son moving on and me thinking of getting on with my life for me, but still in family situation with the other two children]
14C 06

Day has gone quickly.
14C 02

 

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Copyright Caroline Redmond, Chris Wilkinson, Diane Murray, Gordon Adam and Teresa Moore 2002. All rights reserved.