Prover L

20/4/98 15.40
1 dose

MIND
0 Feel I’m surrounded by a membrane, in my nostrils, all around me. Lightheaded.
0 Image like a pagoda. Darkness inside, dark space inside. Sacred space. Straw on outside, beigy, almost colourless.
0 Images of body posture like a rounded sandstone carving. Images are projections of my body posture.
0 Image of bright native American headdress - red and yellow.
0-3 Felt (emotionally) flat.
1 Tired, dreamy state. Hard to focus on what I’m doing.
1-2 In a daze for half an hour (after waking from sleep), not sure what I was thinking about.
2-3 Irritability - lost patience with people, they’re all such a load of wankers. Can’t be bothered to talk to people.
3 Still irritable. When I make myself available to people I’m not in the right frame of mind. Still actually very nice to people.
3 Feeling misunderstood by everyone. Not had for a long time. (OS not had for a long time)
3 During work I have a lack of emotional response to when I get it right. Usually easily cheered by positive things but not now. (US)
4 Not so muzzy headed as have been.
4 I’m behaving as if all is a huge conspiricy against me. People are there to irritate me.
5 Huge uncontrollable outburst of anger at daughter.
5 At a party I didn’t want to listen to other peoples problms. Normally I’m a sponge.
6 Irritable. Intollerant of people, not got the compassion I’d expect to have. I’ve had to disguise it. Feel I can’t be bothered with them, why should I be sympathetic, I don’t like them anyway - though normally I do. It’s a battle to control it. One woman who I felt was lacking in respect to me. I raised this with her but she countered quick and I felt bad about how I had been reacting to her but then resentful that I had to be sympathtic.
16 Intollerance coming on again, not had it for some time.

DREAMS
1 Dream about teaching homeopathy. Someone telling me what to say as I know nothing about it to teach. (It was) good fun.
3 Travelling. The object was to post a circular piece of leaf or bark into some rock face. I got fixed into the side of a cave. Seemed to last for forever. There were problems travelling there. Not an unpleasant dream (more usually get dreams of being chased).
4 Lots of dreams. Growing things and arranging concerts. No anxiety. (US - Cured Symptom?)

HEAD
0 Head feels delicate, buzzy.
0 Pressure in right side of head, left side has a niggly pain with no pressure. When eyes are closed, pressure is all around the front, when I open them pressure goes further back. (US)
0 Light headed sick and queesy.
1 Stabbing pain in right temple as I lay down, then better as I sat up. Laid down again and was fine.
2 Stabbing pain in right temple for a minute when at work.
3 Full head, feels like I’ve had flu all day.

EAR
0 Ears feel weird, thick, swollen.
1-2 Stuffed up.

HEARING
1-2 Hearing worse. Stuffed up, couldn’t hear people.

NOSE
0 Sensation of pressure in nose, from inside towards outside.
0 Coolness is like that from menthol cleansing, so feel nose should be clearer - it isn’t.
0 Pressure spread out around eyes and to all the front of the head.
1-2 Runny nose, stuffed up, now (day 2) constantly dripping.
3 Nose not dripping but is still stuffed up. Runnier outside.
4 Clogged up nose, woke in the night from it.

FACE
0 Sensation like a cold sweat all over face extending to rest of body. A clammyness.
2 Noticed I was clenching my teeth for some hours after the stabbing pain in my temple.

MOUTH
0 Mouth was dry, very thirsty for cold water, three large glasses one after another before evening meal. Mouth still dry.

THROAT - INTERNAL
0 Clicking sensation in throat, near to tonsils, on swallowing.

STOMACH
0 Light headed sick and queesy.
0 Nausea > after I ate, though I wasn’t hungry.
0-6 Been eating obsessively - cheese, chocolates, sweets and cake - which is normal if I’m out of sorts.
3 Desire chocolate if anything.
6 Burping in the morning. Hadn’t eaten anything to cause it.

CHEST
4 Pains in the heart area of my lungs. A small area is tender. Worse deep inspiration, sharpish ache.
5 Pain in left lung in bed, better lying on right side.
8 Since breaking left clavicle six years ago I couldn’t go to sleep on left side due to discomfort. This is fine now. (Cured Symptom)

BACK
1-3 Have had a chronic ache in the sacral area for the last two years where I wake and can’t move. Exercise improves it. Some mornings not as bad, but still aware of it. Currently no pain or uncomforatable sensation there. (Cured Symptom)
4 Back still better but a little sore.
13-16 Back worse again but I’ve been sleeping in a bad bed.

EXTREMITIES
3 (Feeling) in left ankle as if a tendon had gone. Painful, feels weak. Worse walking down stairs, tender after.
4 Ankle still hurts, sometimes can’t walk on it for a few moments.
5-8 Ankle thing happened a few times, for about five minutes at a time.
8-16 Left hip aching.
8 Left shoulder aching extending to neck.

SLEEP
0 Overwhelmed by sleep.
1 - 2 Generally not sleeping well, used to it but now also wake with heavy lethargy. In a daze for half an hour (after waking from sleep), not sure what I was thinking about. (AS)
2 Forced self to get up.
3-4 Good sleep.
3 When woke felt okay but not able to pull myself out of sleep
4 Good nights sleep again.
8 Sleep still not so bad, but not as good as has been since beginning the proving.

PERSPIRATION
0 Sensation like a cold sweat all over face extending to rest of body. A clammyness.

GENERALITIES
0 Clamminess has become almost vibrating.
0 Feel everything is draining out of me. Pull of energy down to bum.Like more firmly rooted - as if nailed or screwed down.
0 Feel as if I’ve a cold starting.
0 Been exhausted. Drove slowly, too much effert to put foot down (on the accelerator pedal) any more. Felt as if I was on some sort of drug. Felt weighty in my body, head light and floaty. Overwhelmed by sleep.
1-2 Tired.
1-2 Wake with a heavy lethargy. Body and limbs very heavy.
1 "Woke up" (felt normal, not tired) 8-10pm, felt okay. Was talking to someone, maybe that helped me forget how tired I was.
3 Tired, though not as bad.
3 When woke felt okay but not able to pull myself out of sleep.
4 Generally all feels left sided.
4 Think I’m generally worse 1pm onwards.
6 Woke with hangover after only one glass of wine the previous night. (US)
8 It’s mainly left sided problems I have.
16 Aching all over.
16 Feel as if flu coming on all day.

Venus Intro.

Themes and Repertory

Why "Venus Stella Errans"